How Dating Will Improve And Save Your Marriage

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The French humorist Gad Elmaleh has a show on Netflix in English, and I encourage you to watch it if you want to understand how it feels to be French and living in the USA.

Here’s the trailer:

I nodded during almost all of the show since I experienced a lot of similar situations. It was good to watch it with my American husband to help him understand how I feel in his country 🙂

But one thing that I disagreed with was the topic about date nights. In the USA, the idea of having date nights when you are married is common while it’s not the case in France.

First of all, we don’t have dates in France as in America. In fact, the concept of dating before being boyfriend and girlfriend does not exist. You are together, or you are not. 

So I guess it’s difficult for French people to understand why you would date your partner after being married.

The Talk

I have to admit that dating saved my marriage with my husband. A few years ago we hit a rough patch.

I didn’t feel connected to him anymore. We were always getting mad at each other and barely had any positive interactions.

So one day we sat down and talked about how we could improve our relationship.

One of the first thing that I pointed out was that I felt like we were acting more as roommates than husband and wife. Sure we spent a lot of time in the same room, but he was on his computer on the dining table while I was watching Netflix on the sofa.

At the time, we were fighting so much that almost all of our interactions were negative.

That day we realized that if we wanted to stop fighting, we needed to create more positive experiences that would overbalance the negative ones.

The plan

The plan was simple, to balance the negative interactions, we needed to spend real quality time together.

So we started to have date nights every Friday, and three years later we still do which I know is easy for us since we don’t have kids. But I think that it’s essential to have some quality time just the two of you to continue having fun and positive experiences together.

At first, we surprised each other every other week which was fun. But today we talk about it during the week and decide on Thursday at the latest what we will do for our weekly date night.

It can be anything like going to the beach watch the sunset with our cameras to going to see a movie at the theater.

The results

Three years after we started our Friday date night tradition, we are closer than ever.

Of course, we still fight sometimes, but it’s rare, and we get over it pretty quickly. I believe that it’s healthy to be mad at each other from time to time.

However we now are joking around all the time, we are cuddling all the time, and I feel like we are more in love than before. 

He’s still on his computer on the dining table while I watch TV or go to bed early with a book. But it doesn’t bother me anymore because we spend a lot of happy moments together throughout the days. And I know that Friday night we will be just the two of us with no screens in-between!

How to create a date night tradition

1. Add date night to your monthly budget
2. Set a day and time in the week or the month
3. Make a list of date ideas
4. Do it!

Save for later

Further reading

• The Power of Meaning: Finding Fulfillment in a World Obsessed with Happiness
• How To Be Intentional And Take Care Of Yourself
• 5 Books That Will Make You Find Your Purpose This Summer
  
• You Do You, A Book That Will Make You Feel More Confident
  
• The Best FREE Resources to Live a Healthy and Happy Life

Over to you

Do you date your partner? What do you like to do together?